time capsule

It's funny the things you forget.

Try not to forget this one, RB: texting guy may not make you cry, but he does drive you nuts/give you complexes. Remember? This becomes magnified when it's no longer a game.

Blogaversary

I didn't even think of it until I got on to make this post, but I started this blog a year ago today.

I celebrated unknowingly, by telling texting guy about it.

Yes, texting guy, the main character in my blog and main man in my life during those six months, now has access to my entire thought process surrounding dating him.

Telling him about the blog was a bit of an accident. Honestly though, at some point I realized it was a matter of time before he knew about it. In an interesting twist that was starting to develop at the time of my last post, texting guy and I pretty much have no secrets anymore.

Right now the best way to describe my romantic life that I'm floating along in the universe, trying not to screw anything up too badly.

Texting guy doesn't trust the universe. I'm not sure if I do or not. My universe no longer has much room for the Rules, in any case.

Rulebreaker, Un-Single Person

For those of you counting, this is the end of month nine of the six months of Rules. That means I was single for almost ten months. A record, one I'm quite proud of.

As of last weekend, Rulebreaker has a boyfriend (music&lyrics).

Rules principles are helping me measure my actions and reactions in my new relationship, which is definitely making a big difference. I can already sense how my Rules-bolstered self is going to be better at conflict management in relationships. This isn't a Rules relationship by any means, but there are trace elements of the Rules that I have ingrained into my life philosophy, and it's a good change for sure.

To the extent major Rules issues come up, I'll probably post. When this relationship ends or doesn't, I'll probably post. I also still have on my to-do list to write reviews of all the dating websites.

Feel free to ask me Rules questions too, and I'll answer them. Regardless of whether I agree with all of them for me personally, I do approve of their use generally and definitely enjoy my pseudo-Rules-expert status.

In the meantime, thank you all for reading.

PS, I'm like, bff with texting guy. We email every day and have hung out and talked multiple times, about really personal stuff. Isn't that weird? I'm really happy about how that turned out too. I'm sort of afraid at some point I'm going to divulge this blog to him. Haha.

Nexting texting guy

Well, I finally did it.

Music&lyrics and I spent a ton of time together last week. Most of it was combined with a rehearsal or a performance. I'm not sure how to balance that with the Rules, btw - there are Rules for dating a coworker, but not for dating a co-songwriter. There are also Rules for dating a performer too. Regardless, I know I broke tons of Rules with him just because I wasn't strict about limiting the number of hours we spent together. I'm not really Rulesing him that much. But I digress.

During one of my conversations with music&lyrics over that week, he had specifically mentioned being jealous of texting guy one time when he saw us together, before anything happened between music&lyrics and me. Given that, I really felt like continuing to date texting guy in particular could jeopardize whatever is happening with music&lyrics. So I made up my mind to end it with texting guy.

As usual, I didn't know how. I waited until he called me, then when he asked to take me to the airport and the following approximate conversation ensued:

RB: Where is this coming from? I mean, you're being all nice and we're getting to the point where we are going to have to have a conversation.

TG: OK. Well, we don't have to have it NOW, do we?

RB: No.

[pause]

RB: But it's like, we've been pseudo-dating for eight months now, and it's not really going anywhere.

TG: See, now you're starting to have the conversation.

RB: Okay.

TG: I'd really like to see you before you leave town.

RB: Okay, I'll call you tomorrow.

Then when we talked the next day, I was pissy about something else I'd heard about texting guy (which I won't go into here). And our schedules weren't going to allow for us to actually get together that night. I actually got irritated with him about the other thing, and then was basically like,

RB: I had hoped to do this in person, but ... you know, we've been dating for eight months, it's not going anywhere, and I can't date you anymore. I'd love to be your friend.

TG: .....

RB: .....

TG: .....

RB: I honestly didn't think you'd be that upset about this.

Texting guy actually resisted this somewhat. Apparently he didn't think this was the direction I was going when I had brought it up before (wow, he thought I was going to ask him to be in a relationship?!?!?!). We got into an actual conversation wherein he said a number of things and I said a number of things, all quite different from anything we'd ever discussed before. I'm not sure the conversation is fully over because he had to go and wanted to talk when I got back from out of town. Also, we texted a few times over the past week while I was away.

So we shall see. I am actually very interested in post-mortem-ing my relationship with texting guy. But just that - post-mortem. I think it could provide some very interesting insight into what the Rules actually did in this case. I would also seriously like to be his friend.

Dating two guys

I think I'm sort of dating both texting guy and music&lyrics right now. I communicate with both of them most days (even if just a text or an email). And I think I've become not only okay with that, but happy about it. It makes me a little less anxious about dating either of them.

Last night I called texting guy for distraction in a stressful situation and ended up breaking down about the situation and he was actually pretty good at helping me feel better. Then after we talked, in a later moment, the following text conversation took place:

Rulebreaker: awk awk awk

texting guy: ?

Rulebreaker: how is the office? [the show, that he had told me he was watching]

texting guy: i'm just happy you learned how to use text :)

Some of my friends think texting guy is starting to move towards relationship. I don't think so. But I'm in an okay place dating-wise right now, including him.

What about the Rules, you say?

I'm still measuring my actions - I don't express too much excitement in my tone, I don't say commitment-related things, I don't make the first move physically, I don't ask them on dates (although I have invited myself over to texting guy's place twice at my convenience), I don't generally initiate contact, I don't respond to contact that doesn't ask for a response. Right now this feels about right.

Shakespearian

Tomorrow I am going on a first Jdate. With a guy whose sister randomly came to my birthday party and whose other sister is fb friends with me. At a coffee shop owned by another guy I am talking to on Jdate but who I haven't met yet. Who might also be my mental health professional's son.

(have not seen said mental health professional since January, but still. The stuff of sitcoms.)

Blog jinx

It seems like EVERY TIME I post an extended entry about a guy, something bad happens!

OK, nothing really bad has happened with music&lyrics, but I'm just sort of annoyed with it. Mostly my own bad attitude if I'm being honest.

I guess it's kind of good to know when to kick the Rules into higher gear. I'm doing this with music&lyrics now, as he asked me out on Tuesday for "this weekend," to which I said "sure," and his reply e-mail basically said he's wide open with no direct question to answer. I guess he'll just have to contact me when he gets back into town!

Shana tova all.
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