Rules GPA slipping steadily...

We're almost at 4/6 months, and I have achieved a fundamental competence in the principles underlying the Rules. With the exception of the whole demureness issue (note, though, that in NOT falling over or dropping stuff nearly as often as usual, I have improved my demure quotient substantially), have so proven in my actions. Where I screw up, I know I'm screwing up.

Most of all, I have Rules girl-league-confidence. I don't feel pressure to do things I don't want to do. I feel good about my self-restraint in declining to do things I do want to do but are too fast or overly indulgent. I don't get too insecure about whether a guy really likes me. Indeed, when I do break the Rules, I'm doing it because I want to and have calculated that my action does not violate the Rules's basic precepts.

But ... I don't wanna be a Rules girl anymore. I wanna be facebook guy's girlfriend. *whine*

Facebook guy asked me out the past two Tuesdays for Saturday. The dates, albeit much longer than permitted (think 2-3 AM), were really great. I have tentative plans with him this weekend and he asked me to a party on short notice that I couldn't go to because I have plans. I've hesitated on writing about any of this because a) I don't want to jinx it, and b) somewhat contrary to (a), I feel like it's going somewhere and I'm imagining having to let him read this at some point.

Yes, yes, I'm indulging in thoughts, but I'm doing it to avoid indulging in facebook guy himself. And I'm better at turning them off when I try to.

Meanwhile, texting guy called a week and a half after the last call (which I had returned after an hour despite the Rules), was apologetic, asked if he could call me next week, and hasn't called eleven days later. To quote a friend, "Texting guy exists to jerk you around."

And, I don't really have anything else going on.

And, I don't care.