Loca

Dear facebook guy,

Thanks for reminding me how I'm still really impatient and insecure and obsessive and crazy. I really appreciate that, because I was starting to feel like I had actually made some progress in the independence and self-confidence arenas. Anyhow, due to the crazy, I decided to distract myself from you by joining Jdate again. When I did, I was surprised to see that in fact I had never fully taken my Jdate profile down and I had about 50 messages in my inbox.

Two of them were from you. One from November 2008 (a week before I got back together with my ex) and one was from August 2007 (a week before I went exclusive with my ex the first time).

Um, not fair, I just paid $80 to STOP thinking about you -- for at least four months with a $39.99 monthly renewal rate -- not to discover little cute things that push my thoughts ominously in the direction of "we barely missed each other twice before and are now finally coming around to our ultimate destiny in the universe."

Reading back over old e-mails with texting guy - yes, I actually almost went out with texting guy in 2007 as well - was fun and somewhat educational. The percentage of guys I recognize on the site is refreshingly lower than I feared (now that I've gotten pretty involved in Jewish activities, etc.). There are even some decent ones, although I really am not going to get into the business of browsing profile pictures due to the Rules. Yeah, I'm still trying to salvage those for the next exactly two months from today.

But the approximately eight times I have signed on to Jdate between paying for it last night in a huff of frustration at not having heard from you for four days and writing you this message that you'll never see, the first thing I do is check your profile to make sure you haven't signed onto Jdate since I last did. So far you haven't. You last signed in nine days ago, or last Wednesday, the day you called me before our Friday date. I mean, why would you need to sign into Jdate right before we went out on our fourth date? What the hell?

Also, I'm guessing you haven't figured out that [Rulebreakerjdatescreenname] and I are the same person. Would you have told me if you had? I'm honestly not sure about that one, but since your second Jdate message to me did not seem to acknowledge the first - and was after I had changed my profile picture - I'm assuming you just don't know.

Well, next time you sign on, you will most likely see me if you perform a search. Jdate tends to inform you if a girl in your search criteria has updated her profile. But facebook guy, what could you possibly be searching for? Are you just not that into me?


.
.
.
.
.

Gosh, look at the time. I've got a really early day, lots to do, so I must be going now!

<3
Rulebreaker