On Independence Day 2000, I made a ten-hour drive to "surprise" a college boyfriend who had broken up with me earlier that summer, by phone, long distance. Basically, I needed to look at him and know that he didn't want me anymore to let it go. His mom knew I was coming; I'm not sure if that makes my action more or less psycho (I understand that it was psycho, for the record). He basically ignored me the first day I was there and I spent time alone in a guest room upset. Eventually I realized it was over and got myself together. We talked, we hooked up, we joked about how we were now breaking up on Independence Day and we'd gotten together on April Fool's Day. The next day I got in my car and drove ten hours back, feeling pretty good. And done.
On Independence Day 2010, I went on a full-day date with someone the Rules had tried their damnedest to weed out. The date was going to parties together, which makes sense for the 4th but is really not a date. Indeed, texting guy remarked on the way home about how great it was that he hadn't needed to spend any money all day long! (winner, huh)
The third and final party was located on the rooftop of the building where my ex lived for the duration of our relationship - a building that gave him 30 days notice to move out when his apartment got sold, which caused him to have to decide that he didn't want to live with me, which he knew would make me mad, which would thus create OMG a conflict, which the only way he could avoid was to break up with me when he came over to pick me up for dinner.
Incidentally, I think by that time texting guy and I were sick of each other. Our usual banter isn't sustainable for 10 hours. There were moments during the second half of the day when I sort of thought he was being a jerk on purpose, even. But standing on that rooftop thinking to myself that I was in my ex's ex-building on a night that had nothing to do with him was nice. As was kissing on the rooftop and in the building elevator.
Later on, texting guy and I went to my house and made out per usual, and for some reason he wanted to talk about the story of the day we met. In the course of the story someone's name came up that he didn't remember and it was driving him crazy so we went to the computer and looked that person up. He got pretty annoying at the computer, so at some point I was like "alright," in a conclusory fashion, and he was like "you want me to leave?" and I said "maybe." And basically he just left.
I feel done with that now. Texting guy might have the capacity to be a pretty good friend, and might be good in bed, but gosh, he's just kind of a bad date. Or just not that into me. I want something more than the chemistry we have. I have enough in my arsenal at this point to remember why I'm not doing this anymore, and turn him down if he calls again.
But gosh, today was a really great day. First, there was the two-for-one closure special, of course.
There was also a point when I wanted to see fireworks and texting guy drove really crazily to try to get down to where they were on time, and we drove to the perfect spot and watched the very end of them standing outside the car. It really was the perfect spot. It would have been a REALLY nice moment if I had been with someone with whom feelings beyond lust actually existed.
Which then reminded me of what I am looking for, and that this isn't it.
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