The Rules for long-distance setups

Finally, I am introducing a new character to the blog. A little late, I know, but it's high time I wrote about someone other than fb guy (who just made his relationship with other chick official on facebook, causing only minor mouth-puking on my part) and texting guy (who has, contrary to my big "closure" spiel, been calling and texting more often than usual and I'm pretty sure still thinks we're dating). Drumroll, please...

The Rules is fine with friend setups, but they're a little tricky. You both know it's a setup, so you know what the deal is and trying to treat it like "normal" dating seems almost silly. Also, if you're not telling your mutual friend that you're doing the Rules, you could come across as a jerk to both the guy and the friend.

The Rules is also fine with long-distance relationships as long as, for example, the guy visits first and so on.

I had the opportunity to try this in combination, which if you think about it is extremely weird. My friend (who knows that I'm attempting Rules but doesn't know about the blog) told me about this guy she thought I'd like in New York, and him about me. Basically we are both geeky Jews. I said sure, why not - I'm in New York all the time lately. She didn't know how to make the connection. I told her that she could either email us both at the same time or give him my contact info. She emailed both of us at the same time.

I waited in accordance with the Rules and the Rules of online dating.

He e-mailed. I complied with the Rules of online dating in my responses. He asked me out in the third e-mail for the next time I'd be in town. This was good, because if he hadn't and I had had to ignore his fourth e-mail like the Rules says, I'd probably have some explaining to do with my friend.

Now, he didn't offer to come to Atlanta to meet me, but a major pretense of us getting together was the fact that I came to NYC on business all the time. Plus he had just moved - and he did offer to meet me on the day he moved because that was the only day we overlapped in town. So I still think the Rules and I were square here. Also, I didn't offer up my phone number even though he gave me his, and technically I was probably allowed to at that point.

He picked me up at my hotel, and with an idea where to go. We went and had a beer and talked. Unfortunately I had skipped dinner and was starving to death. So when he asked whether I wanted another round I just had to ask if they had food here, which they did not, so that extended the date for us to go get food. But seriously, I was hungry.

Our conversation was good, and I hadn't checked the time in awhile. Then I opened my cell phone to show him something and bam! 3.5 hours had gone by.

OK, so I'd say first date scorecard was like a B/B- on this one. When he dropped me off at the hotel, he asked me when I'd be back in town and I said I wasn't sure, and he said to e-mail him.

I didn't, and he e-mailed me anyway! And we e-mailed back and forth, and made plans. I slipped up once when I saw a link I just had to send to him even though it wasn't my "turn" and it was after midnight.

The second date was so lovely that I threw the Rules into the East River. Metaphorically, of course.