Rocking the unpretty

Last night I went to a non-Jewish singles event at a trendy local bar in the yuppie area of town. As I've noted ad nauseum, I only date Jewish guys. This was thus, at best, practice. It's a worthwhile exercise for me because in principle I do not feel like I have anything to lose. This should make it a bit easier to practice the whole "Creature Unlike Any Other" bit, confidence and acting comfortable and all that.

I will note that PMS sometimes turns me into a different kind of "Creature Unlike Any Other." Which likely contributed to the valiant effort it required for me to act like I was having a good time last night. But I digress.

I was invited to this event by a new girlfriend of mine who I really like a lot. Although she has a very different look from me, it did not occur to me to think of her as obviously more attractive than me until she kept getting approached and I did not, once. This phenomenon was overt to the point that one of the guys that had been talking to her until another took over leaned over and said to me "your friend is really popular." If I did not feel like the loser ugly friend before this moment, I certainly did upon hearing that. I reacted well; I simply smiled, laughed a little, and my friend and I moved on a few minutes later.

(Isn't there a term for when the wing man has to pick up the ugly friend so that the other dude gets the pretty girl? Taking a bullet? The Rules prevents me from being that bullet.)

The bar had mirrors all over the place. After I became aware of my position on the short end of the desirability spectrum, I would discreetly glance at myself from time to time to make sure I did not look like ass. Each time I would be satisfied with my appearance, a momentary comfort that quickly gave way to the frightening thought that perhaps I am irreparably unattractive.

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty

Maybe I should get that nose job after all?

Notwithstanding the repeated manifestations of my fears, I left feeling accomplished, having demonstrated my newfound ability to maintain Rules principles for an the entire evening. I smiled at the universe the whole night. I did not attempt to mollify my insecurity by initiating sparkling conversation with anyone. When standing in a circle of people interested in girls other than me, I simply stood with a pleasant expression, sipped my drink, and smiled. When someone did ask me a question, I answered politely, and only occasionally asked return questions. After ten or so minutes of conversation/standing there, I asked my friend if she felt like moving on, and she always said yes so we moved on. This all felt natural. By the end of the evening I had almost achieved the "pretend you're a movie star and if some hunk doesn't grab you, it's his loss" mentality.

My friend and I were both in agreement that the caliber of guys there wasn't that great anyway. And I really do enjoy hanging out with her and hopefully becoming good friends with her, so the evening was a success in my book. I may still exude that I don't like that scene because, well, I don't. But I am noticing an improvement.

Another highlight: I ran into a Rules Girl I've only met a couple of times who I think reads my blog or at least knows about it. I'm not sure she even knew it was me, but this made feel as if we were Rules-y secret agents all the same.