I'm a homeowner as of 13 hours ago. I have a little one-story bungalow with a mostly fenced in backyard and a little deck. It is adorable and it is so me. And now it is mine - I own it as "[Rule Breaker], Single Person." Apparently Georgia law requires such designation.
I saw that on all the paperwork and laughed a little at the irony. I have never ever been known as "Rule Breaker, Single Person." I am "Rule Breaker, Codependent Relationship Person." Or I was - I am no longer. I am buying a house alone. I am moving into it alone tomorrow.
This is not what I imagined about buying a house, but I have finally come to embrace those deviations life throws at me. For the rest of the day, I entertained my friends with "Rule Breaker, Single Person." And, in spite of everything -- and there was a lot -- it was a good day.
Saturday night date invitation Thursday at 5:00 PM. Facebook guy. Broke my heart to turn it down.
I did so with light and breezy regret. There is a semblance of legitimacy to my decision to decline, because I haven't slept in about 42 hours and I have to move during the day on Saturday. By Saturday night I am probably going to be in no shape for a date.
His response was quick but a little friend-zone-y. In my exhausted state, it crushed me just a little bit. Despite what I just got done saying, there's got to be a statute of limitations after which the guy's going to be like, ok, this isn't taking off for some reason - he either won't know why or won't want to put up with the games.
I just keep reminding myself, if he really wants me he will make it happen. And if I'm wrong and lose the potential because of it, it's a lesson I needed to learn and a feeling of self-deprivation I should be living with on a more regular basis.
Rule Breaker, Single Person is going to be just fine in her little cottage. Come visit!
I say good for you. Buying your own house has to be the antithesis of codependence! Keep doing The Rules, though - I have to keep reminding myself that if you continue to do what you've always done, you'll continue to get what you've always got. Besides, owning your own home will help you be strong in future relationships - and remember what TR says about refusing last-minute dates: You've got to think long-term here...don't win the battle and lose the war. If he's interested, he'll try again.
ReplyDeleteYou know the guy I lived with for six months who didn't want me, probably my most abasing experience with men - the one I blogged about recently? Even HE resurfaced after a couple of years and, boy-like, tried to "get some" with me. And even when I repeatedly refused him, he behaved as if nothing had happened and as if we were still good buddies. It ended up being ME who was having none of it, til he finally got the message. Even if nothing else, they always call again for pheromonic reasons alone! For most people with a Y chromosome, that seems to trump anything whatsoever. So about FB guy...I wouldn't worry. :) You're doing the right thing.