What is up??

A girl from my a cappella group pointed out to me that my ex had posted youtube videos of the group two weeks ago. From a Christmas gig (shortly before we broke up - literally the previous weekend, I think).

This is the third non-contact contact. My reaction to each:

1. Smile, slightly triumphant
2. Roll my eyes at his rather pathetic inability to contact me, even though I mean, he must want to (no matter why it is he's been thinking about me lately).
3. Become slightly irritated that he is injecting himself into my finally exorcised brain.
4. Return to feeling triumphant.

I'm not sure if he wants closure, if he wants to know I'm not mad at him, if he wants to be friends...? At least one person has suggested he might want me back, but I seriously seriously doubt that. Not that his behavior is inconsistent with it, but he knows that we suck at communicating with each other and were miserable for like the last six months of our relationship. Even if he did want me back he'd never go for it, having begged for me to come back the first time we broke up just to have the same thing happen again 1.5 years later.

In the end it doesn't matter who is really at fault. It's over and I'm more or less the happiest I've ever been. The funny part is that I think if I had been even a B+ Rules Girl through that relationship, he'd have proposed a year ago. I'm not sure if that saddens or terrifies me. Perhaps even funnier, I have become a ton more like him in terms of my level of independence and attitude towards dating.

There were tons of incompatibilities pretty much throughout our time together. Just, tons. More than any boyfriend I've ever had, ever. I'd like to blame him for them - for his emotional immaturity, inability to set aside his family baggage and open up at all, brooding, consistent avoidance of conflict at all costs. I mean, I certainly own my part of it too - pressuring him, being insecure about everything, overanalyzing every action or inaction as a global symbol, forcing issues, being judgmental of his friends and family, overreacting when he did something irritating.

To quote my sister: Thank G-d that's over.