Seriously, this is a good thing. Let me tell you why.

This morning I went to a Jewish organization's community service day where there were multiple projects. Most people had chosen a project in advance, but I had made a game-time decision to go so I went to the pre-project brunch and scoped projects. One looked really interesting to me until I happened to glance down at the table and saw facebook guy's name on a nametag for that project. Ruled that project out. Didn't see him at the brunch, but did a pretty damn good job of not looking. The project I ultimately chose was conceptually similar to the one I'd rejected because of fb guy, except much much less convenient in terms of location. No matter; I had a fantastic time, was in my element, and also got to use a pressure washer. If you have not operated one of these things, I imagine it is similar to the feeling some people get when firing a gun.

Badass.

I was quite upset over fb guy on Wednesday night, Thursday, and Friday morning (which I took off from work. But after a very busy Friday afternoon at work and giving a d'var Torah at services) I pretty much felt fine. I continued to pretty much feel fine through the weekend, even though his name and/or face kept popping up all over the damn place. These things were minor annoyances, not major heartbreaks.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that fb guy and I really weren't all that. I mean, that hadn't been made totally clear yet, of course, but a lot of what I was daydreaming was so great about him was in my own head. This bothers me somewhat, because one of the main points of this whole deal is that I'm trying to work on assessing things as they are. But it's good for me to realize it.

It's also good for me to have proof that not all breakup-like-things are like my last one. (I realize calling this a breakup is a bit of a stretch, but I mean, he called me and told me he wanted to not date me in order to date someone else!) I was very upset at first, but I bounced back quickly and unscathed. Most likely part of the reason I was that upset at first was fear of how upset I had been the last time around. It's a huge relief to know it's not always that bad.

Finally, running into fb guy with someone else so immediately after he rejected me for that person, and not even feeling the least bit like I wanted to cry about it, is self-affirming, and good practice for eventually running into the real Ex.

So fb guy's role in my life was to put me up against some of my fears and cause me to realize that I can handle them.

And maybe, somewhat recursively, to bring me closer to understanding the Ex's role in my life.