More about the goals

After further reflection and reading 14 pages of actuarial responses to my blog :), I think I should clarify what I hope to accomplish from this experiment. In some ways it is the opposite of the stated goal of the Rules (to find a husband). I've been there. I'm not looking to insta-marry.

I actually think that I'm doing this experiment because I think it's my best shot at *not* being in a relationship at the end of the six months. (Saying that might betray a bit that I don't know that I believe the Rules actually work, right? Because if they are so great, I'd have a husband at the end of the six months?)

The point is, I have not spent meaningful periods of my life outside of relationships. Because I've never been alone, I'm extremely uncomfortable being alone. I'm very secure in my insecurity in this regard, I think it's pretty justified based on my life experience.

I believe that the value added by the Rules is the philosophy that it is better to be alone than to be with the first generally ok guy you're attracted to, if he doesn't care deeply about you - or have serious interest in you - and act like it. This is something I believe, but have not lived. Not knocking my boyfriends, they're all great. Many of them I have no doubt loved me just as much as any Rules-gotten-guy. But I rushed into most of them because I didn't want to be alone.

But there are valid criticisms of this approach, too. I am not a Rules girl by nature and generally attract men because I am cute, smart, and down to earth. None of these relationships have worked and I don't really know why. In the end, the main goal is perspective, and that I'm sure I'll find one way or another.