The Rules: Basic Philosophy

It has been awhile since I've read the Rules, though I just ordered a brand new copy of three different volumes for the purpose of this voyage. The first read was on a friend's recommendation after the breakup before this last one - with the same guy, but that's a different story. The Rules state that the natural order of things is for men to pursue women, and when women pursue men, this balance gets thrown off, and the woman is not adored enough, and basically the relationship is doomed. I'm exaggerating, of course, but the language in the book is pretty strong that legitimately successful non-Rules marriages are the exception and not the rule (no pun intended). Which is pretty startling if you take them seriously about how few true Rules marriages there are.

I am not instinctively a Rules girl. My whole life I have crushed on guys, starting back in first grade when I chased a boy named Stephen around the playground and fluttered whenever he would insult me, which was often. I talk about guys to girlfriends. I let guys know I'm interested in ways that are obvious. I count phone calls but I probably do just as much of the calling. I accept last minute dates and suggest things myself that could be perceived as such. I make friends with guys and try to turn it into something else.

I am also quirky, funny, smart, and unmysterious, and believe I come off this way.

Before I read the Rules, I thought they were crap. I thought the Rules were just an excuse to play games, and I consider myself a straight-shooter, not a game-player.

After I read them, I still thought some of them were crap (or at least too extreme), but I started to think of them as a way of treating yourself well rather than a way of gaming men. That said, I tend to obsess over my "targets" (whether because I want to start something with them or because they are not fulfilling my needs in a relationship). The Rules, if you really believe them, takes this all out of your hands. Conceptually, I have internalized the Rules and recommend them to my friends, although I have utterly failed to implement them myself so far. Especially recently.

After getting facebook friended by a guy who was supposed to call me last week, I also think the Rules are frustratingly out of date. What is the rule when the guy who says he's going to call you two weeks ago facebook friends you instead with no message, and you typically facebook friend everyone you've met?

So here goes my experiment. It should be interesting, even if it winds up with me not dating for six months. That might even be the best result.