First date scorecard: B

I am pretty unimpressed with myself after my first "date." But honestly, the reason I'm giving myself a higher grade than I probably deserve is because I'm even less impressed with him - he presented quite the Rules challenge. Which may mean that he's inept at dating, or it may mean he's just not interested enough to put in any real effort. However, this is what you all (all four of you) have been waiting for; I finally get the opportunity to attempt a bunch of Rules.

Pre-first date:

Rule #5: Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls: A

He took a while to call, but called 3 times in 24 hours before I returned his call. He's also texted multiple times, and I have held my ground on never texting back, even when he's asking questions. His texts have mostly been logistical regarding our dates, and this is not acceptable under the Rules. I am proud of myself on this one.

Rule #6: Always End Phone Calls First: B+

There have only been a few phone calls, and none of them were "just to chat." Given this, it was pretty natural for them to be under the 10 minute mark. I gracefully ended the 1st phone call, but the rest of the calls have sort of ended themselves.

Rule #8: Fill Up Your Time Before the Date: A-

Well, I did do this, but it made me 20 minutes late. I had already planned on being 10 minutes late because he suggested we meet somewhere instead of picking me up, and he was coming from somewhere else. Meeting him somewhere is an overt violation of Rule #4, which I'll get to. But I was later than I planned because I was so busy with work and looking for my skinny jeans (which I did not find).

The Date

Rule #4: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date: D

Clearly I broke this rule by meeting him at the bar. I hadn't really read through the Rules before I accepted the date. But there are some nuances here that were difficult to navigate.

When a man is trying to set up a date to meet you, don't say, "Actually, I'm going to be in your area anyway"; don't offer the names of restaurants between your place and his, unless he asks. Don't say much at all. Let him do all the thinking,k the talking, let him flip through the Yellow Pages or magazine listings and call a couple of friends for suggestions to come up with a place convenient for you.

OK, I did this. I didn't suggest anything. I didn't offer anything. But what happens if the "plan" he comes up with breaks Rule #4, that is, meeting at a bar for drinks?? And when the place he suggests is somewhere you know is more convenient for him than you?

Invariably, we find that men who insist that their dates meet them halfway or (worse) on their own turf, turn out to be turds--inconsiderate, uncompromising, and even miserly.

Fair enough. The use of the word "turds" seems unnatural and nondemure, and I prefer "tools." But if you don't suggest anything and then he proposes this, are you supposed to then be like "um, no"? "Oh, now that I think of it, I actually have plans"?

One friend suggested that she would say "Call me back when you want to take me to dinner." This method seems non-Rulesy, though! What was I supposed to do in this situation? The Rules imply that perhaps I should have nexted him, but they are totally silent as to how to next someone. If I've already agreed to go out with someone, how can I then back out of it? I have egregiously broken this Rule with this guy, actually TWICE (as I will discuss below). I need to grow a spine.

Um, he did pay though. Which is pretty much the only reason I'm not giving myself a full-on F here.

Rule #9: How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3: B

If at all possible, don't think of him before he arrives.

I wasn't thinking of him a daydreaming sense, I was thinking of him in a pissed-off sense, that I was put in this awkward position where I had to break Rule #4 and possibly get to the meeting place first. But I was thinking of him, and talking on the phone to my friends about the conundrum.

Be busy right up until the minute he buzzes you from downstairs.

Other than the buzzing from downstairs, I was very busy the hour before the date. Perhaps overly so.

Don't tell him all about your day as if you've known each other for years...

I didn't. When he asked questions like this, I answered breezily and vaguely.

Don't mention the M word, not even to mention that your brother recently got married.

Haha, I didn't. And I definitely wouldn't have.

You should feel no pressure whatsoever.

Largely, I didn't. However, this feeling of no pressure caused me to act too much like my unfiltered self.

In general, let him do all the work--pick you up, pick the restaurant, open the door, and pull out your chair.

Ugh. I did "let him do all the work," but he arguably failed at it. Bar was not a great choice, he didn't pick me up, etc.

Act nonchalantly at all times, as if you're always on dates and it's nothing out of the ordinary (even if you haven't had a date in years).

I don't think I did particularly well at this. But he and his irreverence created a lot of really really awkward moments, which I think the best response was what I did - to laugh nervously and give him a slight OMG look.

You should always try to date other people so that you never get hung up on one man at any one time.

Uhhhh, yeah, ok. But I can't actually control this. I am at least communicating with a couple of other guys.

Rule #3: Don't Stare at Men or Talk too Much: B-

On the first date, avoid staring romantically into his eyes...Instead, look down at the table or your food, or simply survey the crowd at the restaurant.

I did look at him sometimes, especially at the end, but I also looked around. I think I did alright at this. Sometimes I tend not to look enough at a guy and I end up looking anxious. So I think there's a balance here, and I thought I struck it.

[S]tay cool and just listen to what he says. Follow his lead...When appropriate, show him that you keep up with current events and have interests.

I followed his lead for the most part, but he led me into several traps - some of which I fell into and some of which I deftly avoided.

In general, don't be too heavy. But don't be funny if he's serious. Just go with the flow.

The flow was both extremely funny/banter-y, and sort of extremely serious (politics, law, job goals). I went with it. I may have talked too much. To the extent there was "heavy," he started it.

Needless to say, there will be moments on a date when neither of you has anything to say. Don't feel the need to fill in these silences. You'll end up saying something stupid and forced...Don't feel you have to be entertaining or have interesting conversation all the time. He will think you are trying too hard.

I didn't fill the silences at the beginning of the date, and I didn't really feel like there were many silences toward the end. But in general I think I have room to improve here.

On the date itself, be quiet and reserved.

FAIL. Nuff said. I am not "quiet and reserved." See also"But First the Product - You!" which warns you not to be a "knee-slapping funny girl." I made him laugh a ton. I am just like that.

Rule #11: Always End the Date First: A-

(From Rule #9): Glance at your watch after two hours (for a drink date)... simply sigh, and say "Gee, this was really great, but I've got a really big day tomorrow." Don't say what it is you're doing tomorrow."

Although I missed my 2-hour cutoff by 10 minutes, I did end the date first, and just said "it's getting late."

If he wants to know more about you as the date is ending, he can always call you the next day or ask you out again when he drops you off.

He called me 5 minutes after he uh, walked me to my car. So, it seems like I succeeded on Rule 11, at least.

Rule #7: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday: B-

OK, I'm thinking I probably should not have picked up the phone when he called as I was driving home. But I did, so let's see how I handled it.

He asked me out for three days later, which was not Saturday. Again an amorphous "do you want to go out" with specific plan to come later. As I searched my brain for the correct Rules response, I babbled as to whether I was free or not (idiot). I ultimately concluded that that day was ok, thinking that it was analogous to Wednesday/Saturday.

I was probably wrong about this. Some of what I spewed during this conversation likely led him to come up with the non-Rulesiest date plan EVAR, and probably makes him think I am too available.

My friends all pretty much said I should try to back out, but I have tentatively decided not to. I am sort of guessing "Date" #2 is not going to go well, and seriously, if this guy doesn't step up by Date #3, next!