I had a revelation the other day while driving.
I believe with about 90% confidence that if I somehow ended up in a relationship with texting guy, he would cheat on me.
I'm not sure why I'm so sure of this proposition. I have been cheated on before, but not by a "cheater," if that makes sense. The guy who cheated on me was basically a good guy who got confused. I doubt that guy is going to cheat on his wife.
But texting guy, I feel strongly that he is a cheater despite never having any personal experience with that kind of guy.
The Rules do not address cheating directly. But they imply that if someone makes it all the way to marriage with you, he is smitten with you enough not to cheat. And if a guy is deep down a cheater, well, he just won't make it there.
No Bill Clintons for me, thank you very much.
Am I being totally unfair to texting guy?
I know you have said you don't really have feelings for him anymore, but I am not 100% sure you are being honest with yourself. Either that, or you are feeling lonely.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you thinking about being in a relationship with him to begin with? Haven't you already decided that he isn't boyfriend material?
This is why I advocate nexting him officially. He might hang around, and hang around, and eventually you are in a relationship with him. Right now you have other prospects, but they might fall through and you might got a couple of weeks without any interest from anybody. So you just kinda fall back to texting guy because he is easy. A year down the road, you are wondering what happened.
In my opinion, make a clear break. Let him know it (I think that is the "humane" thing to do), and move on. Don't devote any more time to thinking about him.
Hold out for the guy that you don't have to debate about, he will come along.
Lipman, maybe this guy IS a "player", but not a very good one. :) Perhaps he's a player-wannabe?
ReplyDeleteIs there a correlation between the older single guys and their propensity to cheat? I want to say yes, although it's a generalization, just as older single women must be insane or else they'd be married already. If you go back to the AO, there's a famous poster named MattTheSkywalker who's a good example of this.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I don't have feelings for him, although I've come to view that phrase as semantically tortured. I'm not really denying that I have feelings for him, or at least that I could. That's very different from wanting to be in a relationship with him. I don't think I've ever REALLY wanted that - I may have thought about it after our first meeting, but since our first date I've treated him as a source of amusement.
ReplyDeleteAgain, that doesn't mean I don't like him! I am quite attracted to him. I like that he's a bit more religious than other guys I've dated. I like our banter.
In sum, I'm not denying that I have feelings of some sort for him. I think he'd actually be a great candidate for a torrid sexual affair if I were that kind of person.
I just don't see him as relationship material. We've never had a real conversation, we just joke around. That's annoyingly reminiscent of my last boyfriend, and not at all what I want in a relationship.
Did I mention that if I were the kind of person to have casual sex with someone, he'd be high on the list? I'm not though.
Also lipman, I should note that I "have feelings" for facebook guy way more. I cannot wait to come home from my business trip and see facebook guy. Texting guy is kind of a sexually charged joke, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteThat makes perfect sense to me. I do hope FBGuy proves to be a good leading man, though, to TxtGuy's ample comic relief. :)
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